Archive for December, 2009


e vem mais um!

and i’m ready…


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doces, doces, doces

e passo os dias a deliciar-me com mousse, bolachas, chocolates, bolos…

não como os típicos doces natalícios porque não gosto, mas tudo o resto vai xD

quero aproveitar estes dias para recuperar: sorrir, comer o que quiser sem sentimento de culpa, amar, esquecer-me do mundo lá fora, brincar, cantar, gargalhar, olhar ao espelho e gostar do que vejo, sentir-me preenchida, esquecer a solidão que aperta tantas vezes, sonhar, apoiar, relaxar, ler, escrever…


expulsar ao maximo as vozes silenciosas que só eu oiço. As tais que ficam guardadas no mais profundo do meu ser, a consumir a minha alma.

I wish to find the inner peace; I wish to have everything I desire.

I desire

I wish

I ask

I beg

I command

I scream and persist

and you, Universe, give me everything I want.


o segredo diz que nós comandamos a força à nossa volta, e esta dá-nos aquilo que quisermos. Wanna try?


real fairy tales

I  once asked for clothes, dvds, music, books, sunglasses, mp3, shoes, piercings, tattoos. I wished to be cool.

And then I asked to be skinny. So I starved myself. I felt cool.

It was an illusion; my perfect, sweet and secret illusion.

One day my heart stopped and realised everything was a big, fat fake. Fat. Fat, fat, fat, fat.

Well, I started to eat till I became really fat. What was the point to keep pretending I was cool and skinny and happy, if i truly wasn’t? I was the fake.

I wanted all those things to be someone else, because I hated myself.

But who was I?

I ate to fill the fucking emptiness my heart discovered. I ate to hide the pain in my chest. I ate to keep the tears away [but they still came every night]. I ate to freeze my brain. I ate so I wouldn’t think. I ate because food loved me. I ate so fucking much, because Ifelt in such fucking despair.

I ate and I hide.

And I hide myself from the world. And I hide the pain with a smile.

Still, a fake. I kept being a fake, for others and myself.

The world kept spinning, however I stand still, lost.

My life… wasn’t life at all.

I was numb.

In a fairy tale a guy named Edward, strong and handsome, would come and save me this dark abyss. Yet, this isn’t a fairy tale.

I had to find my way out. I had to learn how to climb in the dark all alone, falling again and again. But getting up everytime, even if I was all bruised. I had to learn what was a true smile, how to speak, how to listen, how to rely on someone without fears, how to love.

I had to learn what love was. What ‘s friendship, family, forgiveness, silence, peace, confidence…

And I thank everyone’s help. And I thank me the most, because I walked the hardest way [just like you walked yours].

Although the dark still follows my shadow, it isn’t inside me anymore. A brighter light surrounds me, there’s just that annoying shadow. But this small, yet significant change in my own light attracted yours into my life. Just like me, you walked a lonely road an there’s still a shadow following you. But we fought. We’re damage, but strong. We are not perfect, neither have been saved by a perfect someone.

And that’s good.

We love each other and our imperfect, but true selves. We just love, as much as a human can love.

Now I know why I never needed an Edward.

Because I didn’t want to be a Bella. I don’t want perfection;  I don’t need to be save; I don’t want to be dependent; I am strong…

I like you the best,

because you didn’t save me,

but completed me… with all your faults.

The imperfect you

The imperfect me


e eu quero um final assim… i’ll get it

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and because i miss doctor who sooo much!!!

— o novo episódio especial sai no Nataaaal!!! *.* e a temporada 5 em 2010 =/ –

para este video ser perfeito era acrescentarem a Donna Noble <333

PS –  vejam em HD =)

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para o Natal, eu quero…

curar este nariz cheio de muco, e esta tosse de cão… -.- nojo

e se superar estas minhas manias destestáveis, melhor… [ah! difícil!]

e depois há uma lista infinita de coisas materiais que não vou receber xD

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e o semestre acabou

can i fall somewhere in the dark and disappear?


can you erase my memory

so I can start all over?

let’s pretend you’re here and i’m happy

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by the way…

check it out:

my blog


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  • FUCK IT!!

  • FUCK IT!!


    watch it!!!

    if you like Skins

    spoilers ahead

    season 2 final





    RIP Chris

    RIPRIP Chris

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